Belonging

Whenever I write about a word, the first thing I do is search up its definition. I might think I know what a
certain word means, but when reading the official definitions, I almost always realize I do not. So as I
brainstormed ideas to blog about, I looked up the definition of “belonging”. I used three different
dictionaries (all online, of course) and, to my surprise, all three dictionaries had varying definitions. The
Google dictionary defined “belonging” as “an affinity for a place or situation”; Merriam-Webster defined
“belonging” as “close or intimate relationship”; and Dictionary.com, annoyingly enough, defined
“belonging” as “something that belongs”. The Google dictionary definition of “belonging” refers to a
personal, self-reflective sense of belonging, one that focuses more on one’s environment than people
around them. On the other hand, the Merriam-Webster definition of the same word refers to the opposite,
insinuating a more social application that relies on being close to other people. (I am electing to ignore
Dictionary.com’s definition; any dictionary that uses the word in the definition is unreliable in my eyes.)
So, then, what is the true definition of belonging? Is it something you feel on your own, in your own
personal, private life? Or is it something you feel with other people, people you genuinely enjoy being
with and trust with your deepest emotions and thoughts?

I personally think it’s both. I’ve experienced belonging both in the private sense and the social sense of
the word, and both of those senses of belonging are equally important to me.

On one hand, as an introvert, I truly enjoy some quality alone time. I find that I can only truly relax and
unwind when I’m writing. Ever since I discovered my passion for creative writing as a fifth grader, I
experience this sense of belonging as “an affinity for a place or situation”, sitting alone in a quiet room
(or closed off by headphones in the living room) in front of an untitled, blank, white document on the
screen, inviting me to fill it up with my thoughts. When I write, I lose all sense of time, focusing solely on
either a story of a new world of my creation or a poem of my feelings and experiences. When I write, I let
my imagination and bottled up emotions loose and allow them to fill up the virtual pages. When I write, I
belong.

On the other hand, as someone who didn’t have a genuine friend group until sophomore year of high
school, I greatly value my current friends. Having known what it was like to not have belonged, I have
come to appreciate the people I am close to now and experience this sense of belonging as “close or
intimate relationship”. When I hang out with these people, it is a conscious choice I am making, and not
something I do because I don’t have anyone else I can hang out with. I genuinely appreciate my current
friends, especially because I know they genuinely appreciate me. While I once was excluded from
parties, activities, and conversations conducted by the people in my own friend group, I am now included
in every party, every activity, every conversation by the people I consider my friends. When I’m with my
friends, I can tell them anything and everything that bothers or stresses me out without worrying that
they might judge me. When I’m with my friends, I’m at complete ease to be myself, instead of pretending
to be someone they might like more. When I’m with my friends, I belong.

I belong in the moments that I’m on my own, immersed in my own world, and I belong in the moments
that I’m with my friends, joking around together or texting each other late in the night. From these
experiences, I can formulate my own definition for “belonging”: “a place, situation, and/or relationship in
which you can freely be yourself”.